Hugh Jackman 'V' Russell Crowe

Yes, it's the battle of the antipodeans, Jackman a full-blooded aussie and Crowe, a sheep-shagging New Zealander. This is an interesting one for me as it will be particularly hard for the fanboy in me to ignore the fact that Jackman is WOLVERINE and the fact that Crowe is a complete twat... but I will try and remain impartial for the sake of good pop-culture journalism.

Crowe is four years older than wolvie... I mean, Jackman, and actually started his career five years earlier too, although both movie-hunks (I am comfortable with my sexuality) started late, hitting our screens in the 90's...



'V'




The 90's

Hugh made his debut on Australian television in Correlli, Snowy River: The Mcgregor Saga and TV movie; Halifax f.p. Afraid of the Dark. His first movie lead was in '99 as Jack Willis in Paperback Hero. The tagline for the movie is fuckin genius... 'He's hard, tough ... and doesn't give a XXXX for anything ... except romantic novels'. According to the blurb, Jackman's character is a tough roadtrain driver with a secret... he is a best-selling author of romantic novels. Another movie credit for Erskineville Kings and back to TV with Oklahoma!

Crowe's first movie appearance was in '90 in Australian movie Prisoners of the Sun. The Crossing, Proof and Spotswood follow before the awesome skinhead flick Romper Stomper in '92. He has a few more aussie movies before his big US break as Cort in completely shite western The Quick and The Dead, also starring snatch-flasher Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and up and comer Leonardo DiCaprio. No Way Back is next, another US movie with Crowe taking the lead. Fanboy trivia, a neo-Nazi character in this movie has almost identical tattoo patterns as Crowe's character had in Romper Stomper. I really enjoyed Sci Fi thriller Virtuosity starring Denzel 'look at my Oscars, motherfucker' Washington, and Crowe plays the excellent SID 6.7.

Next up for Crowe, is Rough Magic starring opposite the sexy Bridget Fonda. It seems at this point, that he is heading for greatness and his breakthrough role as Bud White in L.A. Confidential confirms this assertion. Who could hate a crooked cop that enjoys beating the shit out of the bad guys and who can take a few bullets without dying? Plus, he kills that fuckin pig farmer from Babe!

Crowe seems to take a step back with Heaven's Burning and Breaking Up, although as these were released the same year as L.A. Confidential, perhaps they were made first and just shelved for a while before hitting the streets. At least in Breaking Up he gets to do love scenes with Salma Hayek... the bastard. Mystery Alaska is another mediocre comedy but then The Insider confirms Crowe's talent and also credits him alongside giants such as Al Pacino and um... Rip Torn.





I think it's fair to say that Crowe kicked Hugh's ass in the 90's but the new millenium is where things start to get interesting as Crowe gets 'blockbuster syndrome', releasing one film a year but Jackman becomes Logan in X-Men.


2000 and beyond

When X-Men was in the development stages, years and years ago, it was rumoured that Brandon Lee would play Wolverine. I loved Brandon Lee and may even do a CaC featuring Bruce's son, but I was not happy with the idea of The Crow actor becoming my beloved Logan... Brandon was tragically killed in a freak accident during the filming of The Crow, when the wadding in a blank-firing gun struck him... ah well, silver lining and all that.

Jackman is Wolverine... a little tall but he brought the character to life and this role launched his global career to fanboy and hot chick alike. Someone like you was released the same year, a chick-flick comedy but then Hugh got to lead in the geekgasm that was Swordfish, opposite Travolta and the 'in the pants' gorgeous Halle 'look at my Oscars, motherfucker' Berry. In the movie Hugh is faced with the ultimate geek fantasy... to hack into a mainframe whilst being destracted by a hot blonde giving him a blowjob... the day geeks look like Hugh Jackman is the day that will really happen.

Kate and Leopold is one of those movies guys will refuse to go the cinema to see with their girlfriends... but will chuckle to it and find it entertaining when they pay for it on Box Office... well, that's what my mate tells me, obviously I wouldn't watch it!

X2 gives us another dose of Wolverine with a great story arc and Nightcrawler no less!!! Hugh is so down to earth, he goes back and makes an indy aussie movie Standing Room Only and a made for TV movie in the States called Making the Grade. Just when genre fanboys were still drooling over X2, we get Van Helsing, seeing the slayer up against Werewolves, Vampires, Dracula and Frankenstein... holy shit! Either this film was going to be as camp as christmas or awesome... it was both!

One thing I like about Jackman is that he returns to his arty farty roots despite his celebrity status and in 2005 we saw him in Stories of Lost Souls.





Gladiator... let me just say that again... Gladiator. Russell Crowe as Maximus in the Ridley Scott classic is incredible. This is one of the best movies of all time. Bud White in a leather skirt. This movie out-Bravehearted Braveheart. Proof of life was a little flat for me, it lost the pace although it was another solid performance. A Beautiful Mind was another brilliant role for Crowe confirming his acting ability beyond doubt. Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World was another blockbuster smash, an epic adventure set on the high seas and of course we now have the boxing epic Cinderella Man about folk hero Jim Braddock.

But it seems Crowe is disappearing up his own arse, is rude, smells (Rene Zellweger refused to do love scenes with Russell until his breath and body odour were taken care of) and is a violent thug, recently hitting a hotel worker in the face with a telephone when he couldn't get through to his wife.





Now what?

Jackman has an impressive line-up of 'coming soon' movies. The Fountain is next, a role rejected by Brad Pitt about a lifespan-enhancing fountain. He is providing his voice talent to two projects, Flushed Away about a rat flushed down the toilet and Happy Feet, an animated movie about penguins. Then we have X3... unfortunately the Pheonix story arc, probably my least favorite arc in the X-Men comic. We have Good, a tale about Auschwitz and talk about a Woody Allen project and most exciting of all... Wolverine... yes, Wolverine. A whole movie about Wolverine.

Crowe has fuck-all in the pipeline except maybe a jail sentence.


The Verdict

This is a tough one. In the last post, we had two chumps and it was a case of picking out who the biggest tit was but here, we have two amazing talents releasing decent movies. They are going down different roads, however. Crowe is carving his niche in serious roles and Hugh is an action adventure superstar.

Crowe's famous quote from Gladiator was "What we do in life echoes in eternity". I just hope the echo isn't "Russell Crowe is a twat... is a twat... is a twat... is a... is..."

Russell has made bigger, mainstream movies but genre fanboys will argue that the X franchise and Van Helsing is enough to seal Jackman's victory.

Wolverine... nuff said.

Russell, you are a Chump!


The Champ